Vulnerability: A Wise Guide Through Tight Spaces & 4 Ways To Cultivate It

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a world of loud, quiet really wakes up the soul.

In a world of fast, slow magnifies power.

In a world of hard hitting, of slamming it, banging it, crushing it, the soft touch can slide through the tight spot with insuperable strength.

Vulnerability can be seen as the synergy of opposites such as rigid and flaccid, tight and loose, hard and soft. Synergy is the blending of things such that the sum of effects of those blended things is greater than all effects of any one thing going about its business alone.

Vulnerability can be felt in body, heart, and mind. It’s felt as the outcome of blending those opposites in good measure such that each half of the pair of opposites tempers the mix with its finest qualities and creates something that didn’t exist before, something that only the union of these things could create.

Vulnerability can present from within as a scary openness at first. If you’re not comfortable with it, even the suggestion to open to your vulnerability can agitate.

Like cracks in a wall that leave you open to frigid blasts and malignant insect attacks; like cracks in communication that leak top secret intelligence; like cracks in an emotional armour that leave you open to getting hurt—vulnerability feels too undefended, too permeable.

Vulnerability might be scary because we’re not used to the soft-hard art of allowing.

In many martial arts; in the yogas; in the training of hunters and gatherers; in the long apprenticeship of a magician or medicine person; in the cultivating of a master artist—the intimate practice of vulnerability keeps the initiate open in a tight spot, ready to flow in any direction, poised for a leap or a roll, positioned for opportunity. And that’s a scary openness to the uninitiated.

Vulnerability might be scary because deep in the ancestral language centres of our collective awareness we hauntingly remember that vulnerable comes from words that mean to wound, to maim, to injure, to pluck, to tear, to strike. That’s scary!

But today, vulnerability means an intimacy with body, heart, head, and soul in such a manner that you could no longer hurt yourself or others intentionally.

In The Yoga Sutras, Patanjali describes this power of yoga: When you are steadfast in your abstention of thoughts of harm towards others or yourself, all living creatures will cease to feel fear in your presence. (sutra 2:35)

That might be called vulnerability in extremis and vulnerability in extasis.

Vulnerability, then, might be described as the taming of the fear reflex and the absence of a blame and shame conditioning, that is, the reflex to hurt self or another.

Vulnerability could be called the necessary angel, to borrow Wallace Stevens’s phrase, of empathy.

Invite your vulnerability to guide you and hold you. It has beauty, courage, and magic in it.

4 Actions To Invite Vulnerability:

  1. Tune in to your senses and sensations. Walk in a safe place in nature. Sit quietly, close your eyes, breathe, and practice developing eyes in the back of your head. Next, walk gently, sense the earth beneath your feet, imagine ears in the soles of your feet. Or smell as if every pore of skin were a nose. Taste with your fingertips. Open to the subtlety of sensation.
  2. Acknowledge reactivity. Develop a practice of tuning in to the tight place in the body that’s attached to a reactive trigger; then identify an emotion that goes with the trigger; then observe any meanings, ie, conclusions, perceptions, thoughts attached to that trigger. Simply notice. Be open. from there you can shift the harmful to the helpful.
  3. Meditate. Simply sit and allow yourself to embody sensation, emotion, thought, without reaction. Just let it flow through. No judgement. No blame.
  4. Journal. Daily, track: triggers, emotions, feelings, thoughts, behaviours through tight spots and tender spots. If any of those are uncomfortable, if they hurt you or someone else even in thought, write yourself into a next best perception or meaning. Write about the beautiful, helpful, good, blessed boons in your life even when going through trial. Stretch. Notice something that has a deep and encouraging beauty to it. Focus there.

Kimberly Ananda

 

The Dolorous Blow~~Revisioning Trauma

The Dolorous Blow in Arthurian legend is the wound that maims The Fisher King, leaving him and the land impotent. In the terms of Law Of Attraction metaphors, the King’s vibrational frequency plummets to an energetic low and the land follows. His kingdom becomes The Wasteland.

In myth, the king or queen can be symbolic of a governing principle in our selves; and the land a reflection of the psychic wholeness of the king or queen. In Arthurian legend, the entire kingdom depends on the King’s health, on his life force energy. In life, it’s really the same~~our world hangs on our health, on our internal vitality, on our energetic balance.

Our inner life out-pictures, to use Neville Goddard’s phrase, into our lives, shaping the world of our personal and collective reality. We are energetic beings. Our prevailing feeling state affects our energetic resonance. Our resonance governs the kinds of events attracted into our lives.

Can you see yourself as the king or queen of your inner realm? Are you hale and happy in abundant blessedness? Or are you sad, angry, sick? Is the inner marriage of your kingly spirit and your queenly soul balanced and bright? Or are you invisible to your egoic view entirely, duped by the duplicitous cheats and wormtongues of power that you are nothing?

The wounding of The Fisher King is a wounding in us all. Traumatic experiences have become epidemic. Traumatic stress wrecks the energetic balance and wracks the mind. Traumatic stress disorder becomes a crutch for some and a banner for others, a label that constricts vision and obstructs healing. The clinical pathologizing sets in, we lose the dignity in the experience, and little heals.

Trauma loops explode all around us, in tv shows, film, avatar games, on the streets, in homes. Generational repetitions compound over and over, violence consolidates violence, and the out-picturings of profound lack of vision make a wasteland of this good green luscious living Earth.

An experience so global and obvious is crying out for revisioning. Trauma is a blow to our very life force. For such a critical experience, the language of myth restores dignity to the spirit, devotion to the soul, vitality to the body, and vibrancy to the imagination. The irresisitibly attractive energy of mythic language restores our magic to us.  transforms how we see ourselves .

THE DOLOROUS BLOW IN REAL TIME

A dolorous blow in our lives can really rock our trust, hope, curiosity, playfulness, joy~~those sparkling energetic exhilarators of abundant living~~thereby clouding our perspective and damping our vibrational lustre.

Nearly drowning or being involved in a near or tragic drowning, losing a limb, developing a life threatening disease can be the incidents that Arthurian legend calls The Dolorous Blow.

Consistent sarcastic assaults to our sense of self over time or direct hits to the soft animal of the body, as Mary Oliver describes our sweet ally of carriage through this life, are dolorous blows. These blows of experience can be paralyzing, to the mind or to the body. Fear, anger, despair, physical pain take over. Fertility of resilience fails. The inner wasteland sets in.

If you have ever been depressed, cast down, despondent, in agony, you have shared in the human experience of the dolorous blow, of soul loss. These blows lay waste our inner land of psychic wholeness and become reflected in the crippling outer circumstances of our lives.

Any event that conditions our subconscious toward a fear, grief, despair, anger bias can be a dolorous blow to our wellbeing. And the word trauma can consolidate the blow. I find the liberating language of myth to be a respectful and wonderful way to revision the blows of life so that we sense a path forward, through the dark wood, out of the wasteland, and into growth potential.

LINGUA MYTHICA~THE LIBERATING LANGUAGE OF MYTH

Clinical psychology calls the dolorous blow a trauma event and its repercussions post trauma symptoms.

I have found in 60 years of my own gorgeous perilous missions, and in 20 years of clinical counselling practice, that diagnostic labels, like trauma or post traumatic stress, are helpful guiding descriptions, but can severely limit a person’s recovery. Labelling a person with post traumatic stress disorder (or bi-polar or cancer or such) is like putting a sign on the path: Fisher King’s Castle This Way. The sign may lead the heroic quester to the castle, but says nothing about next steps in healing.

People get really attached to labels. Phrases like: mental illness, terminal illness, inoperable condition, toxic people, toxic situations can become a  life sentence to a mind hung up on strict definitions. These labels can suck the life energy out of a person hunkering under the dolorous blows of life.

I much prefer the lingua mythica of the heroic journey. Lingua mythica translates roughly as the language of story or story language. A mythopoetic language liberates soul into the healing process. The Grail Cycle of stories is one such healing language.

The language of the heroic journey gives us magical allies, the animal friend, words of power, opuscules of opportunity, hope swings across impossible odds, timely meetings, divine encounters, the chance to recover a fearless awesome courage, the jewel of wisdom in the Underworld, redemption of self and community and land.

WARRIOR TRAINING

Healing trauma, healing false limits to our soul’s purpose, healing The Dolorous Blow may be one of our gorgeous perilous missions in life.

Warrior training teaches that we must take our fear, breathe it intensely into a ball of fire in the belly, govern our attention, direct our intention, and use these like an archer uses a bow: to aim the gorgeous perilous mission of the moment and propel our fearless awesome courage towards the bull’s eye of necessary action.

Spiritual Warrior training teaches that with breath regulation and meditation, we learn to embrace the body, govern thoughts, inspire the heart, hone vision, and trust action. The best springs forward of its own accord. When you do the work, the work supports you. When you do the work, the work heals you. You learn to unhook from habituated reactivity. In Arthurian terms, you cut and ride the psychological wave through danger to safe harbour. It’s a deep practice of focus and non-attachment.

ATTACHMENT

Long ago, in another place and time, my beloved painted paddlemaking teacher, who gave me such loony latinate phrases as lingua mythica, taught me much about facing my fears. He taught me that The Sacred Psychologies (his term for the perennial wisdom traditions) don’t see fear as the problem. Attachment to fear is the problem.

Our instinctual emotion is ok. Instinctual fear is ok. It serves a purpose. It tells us danger is afoot. It sends powerful chemical warriors and scintillating electromagnetic allies through our bodies, collaborators of immense energetic oomph unleashed for our instant strength.

Attachment to fear and attachment to fear based reactivity—such as panic—is the culprit. Habituated fear, habituated stress, or a habituated trauma loop, for example, is the problem. Habituation rather than instinct is the more damaging culprit. Getting unhooked from fear’s grappling irons is part of the gorgeous perilous mission.

THE GRAIL OF OUR GORGEOUS PERILOUS TIMES

Our times call for each of us to unhook from learned patterns of fear-based attachment: attachment to me, mine, more, an eye for an eye, fossil fuel use, toxic manufacturing practices, compulsive consumption, torture of any kind of all soft bodies everywhere.

Our sweet oasis in space, our Earth, is showing symptoms of The Wasteland of myth. The faulty belief system of egoic self-interest is the dolorous blow to our collective energetic good vibrations.

Our life habits live up to~~or down to~~our most consistent conditioning. Our emotional patterns and thought addictions shape our choices, actions, and vibrational frequencies. Our biosphere suffers or thrives accordingly.

This egoic self-interest that sets our species as more important than Nature’s exquisite life harmonies and our wants as more valuable than the liberty of our animal, plant, mineral, water ,and gas allies out-pictures in tragic proportions as the toxic wasteland of our times.

In The Grail Cycle of stories, finding The Holy Grail brings healing to The Dolorous Blow, The Fisher King, and the land.

The Holy Grail can be seen as a symbol for the energetic frequency of healing, harmony, and happiness. The Grail lives in the heart of The Fisher’s King’s castle.

FROM DOLOROUS BLOW TO RADIANT WOUND

Our collective mission calls upon each of us to see our own dolorous blow~~our trauma wound~~as the opportunity to seek the grail of the heart, drink the elixir of a new vision, and tell the liberating tale of a new guiding story in our lives.

The old trauma story can become the epic tale of the gorgeous perilous mission. The old trauma wound can become The Radiant Wound of radical redemption.

When we change the way we tell our story, the story we tell changes our world. As each of us unhooks our story from our cramp of conditioning, from our trauma wound, we transcend habituated fear. Every personal liberation from habituated fear raises the collective vibe.

Globally we need a new guiding story. Is this the New Dark Ages or is this the Age Of Vision? The version we choose out-pictures and becomes our world.

The fresh story begins inside each of us. And as tales like The Grail Cycle remind us, the liberating story we need must be centred in the heart.

Awakening heart energy gets us unhooked from fear and unleashes our fearless awesome courage into vibrant vibrational change practices.

Only heart medicine heals The Dolorous Blow. A change of heart changes everything. The time is now. The time is only ever NOW.

The Grit & Gumption Of Your Fearless Awesome Courage big blog

Everyone has a gorgeous perilous mission. The details change from person to person, perhaps from life stage to life stage. The magnitude of the mission is large for some and small for others. But the principle of the mission stays the same.

We are each here to redeem our deep driving desire from its prison or slumber and fulfill our personal destiny within the collective destiny of our times. We are here to be, as fully as possible, the channel for our singular purpose to arrive in the world. We are here to unleash a fearless awesome courage into the world.

LIBERATING DESIRE FROM THE CRAMP OF CONDITIONING

Why do I call it a fearless awesome courage?

One reason is that, for most of us, our deep driving desire got lost beneath layers of experience. Unearthing our desire can require an exceptional courage of us.

The magnificent evolutionary efficiency of our nervous system shaped itself in, through, and from this world of experience, a world filled with danger and safety. The nervous system evolved to shrink from pain and reach for pleasure.

These layers of experience become our cramp of conditioning—the learned habits of limiting memory and rote behaviour that keep us in the same-old-same-old. These habits very often keep us from daring the difference that our unique and singular destiny calls for.

Our cramp of conditioning is also mostly invisible. I say mostly because we can’t see a belief; we can’t touch a memory; we can’t eat a perception of any kind, limiting or unlimiting—at least not physically.

But we can see the effects of conditioning. The effects unfold as our typical reactions and behaviours, preferences and abhorrences.

To liberate our deep driving desire we have to dare our conditioning that holds guard at the gates of memory. Like any great heroine or hero, we have to dare the underworld, the place where lost things go, where forgotten things lie, where the treasure of our true destiny waits to be freed.

And old habits die hard. Our entire ego identity and sense of belonging cling to these old patterns of conditioned memory. It’s a big deal. A belief is a little thing wielding a huge heft of power.

After we dare the underworld of our subconscious, then we have to dare the world.

DARING THE WORLD

The world we must dare includes: the convictions others have around who and what we’re supposed to be; the insistence the collective conditioning has around how we’re supposed to fit in and do our duty to maintain the status quo; the hard line group mind has around keeping everything as is.

And dare we must if we are to redeem our own true authentic self from conformity. Dare we must if we are to protect and liberate the good, the right, the perfection in ourselves and in the world.

You may feel called to rescue abused animals or help relieve world hunger. You may be called to release yourself from an addiction. You may be called to be the strong light in your family or neighbourhood that brings hope to despair, joy to sadness, a helping hand to a disabled neighbour, a shovel to a tree planting event.

No matter who we are each of us is called upon to protect beauty, truth, innocence, and trust in whatever form those appear in our worlds—both inner and outer. And many are the forces against us—from within and from without. An old shame habit can keep us down. An old worry, such as what others might think, can keep us stuck in deep unhappiness. An old taboo can keep us small. A military occupation can throw the mind into terror.

But what’s the alternative to playing safe? Does dying with your music still in you appeal to you? Does living with an unlived story inside you appeal to you?

THE CHALLENGE OF GRIT & GUMPTION

Your gorgeous perilous mission calls upon you to challenge your habitual fears, make fear your ally, and lift that wildly singular burning desire into your living flow. Big or small; visibly on a world scale or invisibly in the inner arena where you wrestle for your soul—your gorgeous perilous mission is as important as anyone’s.

What’s stopping you from beginning? Fear of some kind? Well, take a deep breath, take heart, and take a step. That step not only calls for a fearless awesome courage, but calls upon the fearless awesome courage to arise. That step evokes it from its prison or slumber, wakes it up to the dire cue of the moment, ignites the grit and gumption needed to carry through.

When a fearless awesome courage allies with a gorgeous dangerous mission you get a golden opportunity.

As soon as you take that step, the path of radiant attraction begins to open. As soon as you begin the challenge, courage begins to muster. Your gorgeous perilous mission attracts the allies it needs to liberate your joy. And a primary ally is the fearless awesome courage that lives within you, within each of us, awaiting ignition.

 

Your Gorgeous Perilous Mission Big Blog

When is fear a friend and when is fear a foe?

Your gorgeous perilous mission in this life is to find out.

Loon Canoe, the exquisite 100 year old 16-foot Peterborough cedar strip canoe with extended prows, and veteran of many gorgeous perilous missions, taught me much about my own depth and purpose–and about making fear an ally.

Everyone experiences physical, psychological, and spiritual dangers in this life. The smallest thing can be a mortal danger if we let fear take us down; the smallest threat can be crippling to body, mind, or spirit.

An angry fist in the face, a sarcasm dart to the heart, a tornado across the field, a bomb blowing up your car—these call up fear as an appropriate first reaction.

THE EVOLUTIONARY GENIUS OF OUR NERVOUS SYSTEM

We have two primary levels of nervous system functioning: instinctual and learned. Fear is part instinctual and part learned. We’re designed to fight, flee, or freeze to protect this mortal coil from threats to life or wellbeing, or to protect what we love.

The evolutionary genius of our nervous system does some complex things with experience. It stores information for future reference; we call that memory. It reads current environmental factors lightening fast, compares the current situation to the stored information, and alerts the subconscious as to what to do according to fresh current need or according to our past conditioned memory data.

And mostly we’re not thinking consciously about any of it. The slick and savvy genius of our nervous system allows us to live a multi-layered life. We don’t have to learn everything anew each moment. But at the same time, we are governed by the stored memory of experience–our cramp of conditioning. Some of these memories store learned fear and learned reactivity.

A lot of situations call up fear. And a lot of these situations call up a really good reason to pay attention to fear, listen to its message, and act.

So fleeing a tidal wave or a falling tree is always a good plan. But we’re not born with a fear of water or trees. Our specific fears are a result of conditioning.

A traumatic accident like almost drowning, witnessing a drowning, losing a loved one to a falling tree; any violent event like an intimidating physical or psychological assault; or repeated low dose neurotic conditioning, like consistent sarcastic assaults to our sense of self over time get stored as those dangerous frightening memories. These set our fear-based reactivity on perpetual unconscious alert for similar events.

ATTACHMENT TO FEAR MEMORIES

Our subconscious alert system attaches old memory to a present situation of similar emotional and sensory influence. And it’s this attachment glue that keeps us reacting—and perhaps reacting in unhelpful ways. Our learned reactive patterns have become conditioned memory, too.

One of our innate as well as learned reactive patterns is to fight fear. But attachment to fighting fear increases fear’s power rather than decreases it. What we resist persists. What we emphasize amplifies.

And fighting fear is both overt and covert, obvious and hidden.

Direct attacks on our fears and fear reactivity, such as arguing with it or levelling ineffective affirmations at it along the lines of, I shall fear nothing today!, have the opposite effect of giving fear more power. Your subconscious knows when you’re pulling the wool over your own eyes. Shouting at a tidal wave does nothing to stop the tidal wave. Hamlet knew that taking arms against a sea of troubles does nothing to relieve troubles.

Analyzing, questioning, or ruminating also consolidates the old fear pattern and usually amps up the reactivity. Why, why, why does this keep happening? Why can’t I do this? Why am I the only one like this? Why am I such a weakling, scaredy cat, wuss? These can be the longest suffering series of questions you ask in life. These questions perpetuate the reactivity.

Avoidance or denial, such as putting on a happy face; squashing, stuffing, saccharinizing, puts you in more danger. Turning your back on a big wave and pretending it isn’t there puts you at risk of being rolled up into it and drowned. But what about the wave coming up from the ocean of issues stored in the subconscious? How often do we turn our backs on that one–and get unequivocally swamped?

THE DOLOROUS BLOW

The Dolorous Blow in Arthurian legend is the wound that maims The Fisher King, leaving him and his land impotent. We could say The King’s vibrational frequency plummets into energetic deficiency.

In myth, the king of queen can be symbolic of a governing principle in our selves and the land a reflection of the psychic wholeness of the king or queen. In The Grail legends, the entire kingdom is dependent on The King’s health, on his energy. In life, it’s really the same.

Our inner life out-pictures, to use Neville Goddard’s phrase, into our lifescape, shaping the worlds of our personal reality and our collective reality. Our governing energetic resonance influences the kinds of events attracted ito our lives. A dolorous blow to our life can rock our trust, hope, curiosity, playfulness, joy.

Nearly drowning or being involved in a near or tragic drowning, losing a limb, developing a life threatening disease, can be the incidents that Arthurian legend calls The Dolorous Blow.

Consistent sarcastic assaults to our sense of self over time or direct hits to the soft animal of the body, as Mary Oliver describes our sweet ally of carriage through this life, are dolorous blows. These can leave us psychospiritually paralyzed with learned fear, lay waste to our inner land of psychic wholeness, and often be reflected in the crippling outer circumstances of our lives.

Any event that imprints a heavy fear, grief, despair, anger–you get it–can be The Dolorous Blow.

Clinical psychology calls The Dolorous Blow a trauma event and its repercussions post trauma symptoms.

I have found in 60 years of life in my own gorgeous perilous missions, and 20 years of clinical counselling practice that diagnostic labels can severely limit a person’s recovery. People get really attached to labels like mental illness, terminal illness, inoperable codition, toxic people, toxic situations. These labels sound like life sentences. These labels can suck the life energy our of a person recovering from the dolorous blows of life.

I much prefer the lingua mythica of the heroic journey. A mythopoetic language liberates soul into the healing process. The Grail Cycle of stories is one such healing language.

The language of the heroic journey gives us magical allies, the animal friend, words of power, opuscules of opportunity, hope swings across impossible odds, timely meetings, divine encounters, the chance to recover a fearless awesome courage, the jewel of wisdom in the Underworld, redemption of self and community and land.

Healing trauma, healing false limits to our soul’s life, healing The Dolorous Blow is our gorgeous perilous mission.

Warrior training teaches that you take your fear, breathe it intensely into a ball of fire in your belly, and use it like an archer uses a bow: to aim the gorgeous perilous mission of the moment and propel your fearless awesome courage towards the bull’s eye of necessary action.

Warrior training teaches that you manage your fear, detach from habituated reactivity, and ride the psychological wave to safe harbour. And that is a deep practice of focus and non-attachment.

My beloved painted paddlemaking teacher, who gave Loon Canoe her magnetized skin of mythopoetic power and me such loony latinate phrases as lingua mythica, taught me much about facing my fears. He taught me that The Sacred Psychologies–his term for the perennial wisdom traditions–don’t see fear as the problem. Attachment to fear is the problem.

Our instinctual emotion is ok. Instinctual fear is ok. It serves a purpose. It tells us danger is afoot. It sends powerful chemical warriors and scintillating electromagnetic weapons through our bodies, allies of immense energetic oomph unleashed for our instant strength.

Attachment to fear and attachment to fear based reactivity–such as panic–is the culprit. Getting unhooked from fear’s grappling irons is part of the gorgeous perilous mission.

Our times call for each of us to unhook from learned patterns of fear-based attachment: attachment to me, mine, more, an eye for an eye, fossil fuel use, toxic manufacturing practices, compulsive consumption, torture of any kind of all soft bodies everywhere.

Our sweet oasis in space, our Earth, is showing symptoms of The Wasteland of myth. The faulty belief system of egoic self-interest is the dolorous blow to our collective energetic vibrations and our life habits. This egoic self-interest that sets our species as more important and our wants as more valuable than Nature’s exquisite life harmonies out-pictures in tragic proportions as the toxic wasteland of our times.

In The Grail Cycle of stories, finding The Holy Grail brings healing to The Dolorous Blow, The Fisher King, and the land.

The Holy Grail can be seen as a symbol for the energetic frequency of healing, harmony, and happiness. The Grail lives in the heart of The Fisher King’s castle.

Our collective gorgeous perilous mission calls upon each of us to see our own dolorous blow as the opportunity to seek the grail of the heart, drink the elixir of a new vision, and tell the liberating tale of a new guiding story into our lives. Awakening heart energy gets us unhooked from fear and unleashes our fearless awesome courage into vibrant vibrational change practices.

A change of heart changes everything. The time is now. The time is only ever NOW.

GETTING UNHOOKED

When it comes to a moment of fear, discernment is key.

Is this a real outer threat—a real tidal wave rolling a one hundred foot high and who knows how wide wall of water at your shoreline? Or is this an inner tidal wave, the old wound activated by a perceived threat like criticism, sarcasm, psychological intimidation? Is The Dolorous Blow memory all up in your face? Knowing when to run, when to ride, when to stand, when to hide is key.

Running from a tidal wave is always a good plan. Running, hiding, arguing, attacking the inner wave, such as fear of criticism; or doing the same with its momentary outer source, such as a nasty boss or neighbour, is ultimately counterproductive. Those actions keep the dolorous blow levelled again at your psychospiritual wholeness and limit your radiant attraction action. You just end up compelling the same-old-same-old to arrive.

In Dr. Strange, The Ancient One says: We do not lose our pain; we learn to live above it. We must do the same with fear. We must get ourselves unhooked so we can act with a slick and sensible sanity toward the old conditioned culprit of attachment.

Awareness of triggers and reactivity is the key.

Bringing self-awareness practices into your life helps you stand up in your fear and make fear your ally.

Try meditation, tapping, journalling, yoga, mantra. Try archery, drawing, bonsai, flower arranging.

Finding human guides who walk the path of liberating awareness as a life practice can help you redeem an old fear conditioning and learn better habits of responsive awareness to fear’s warning message. Find a life coach or counsellor or support group.

Fear doesn’t have to take you down. Fear doesn’t have to compromise your radiant attraction action. Fear can wake you up, stand you up, and fill you up with a powerful urgency to grow out of the cramp of conditioning and grow into your lucent and purposeful living flow.

When fear is an ally and not an enemy you have a helpful warning system that alerts you to real danger and to the hook of an old conditioned reactivity. Your gorgeous perilous mission is to discern between the two. Your gorgeous perilous mission is to act above fear, to act as if your life depended upon it, and to act as if death were no consequence.

 

 

Your Fearless Awesome Courage Blog Bite

Believe it or not, everyone has a fearless awesome courage buried or shining within. Everyone. And this powerful courage is allied with the gorgeous perilous mission we each bring to the journey of our life.

We are each here to redeem our deep driving desire from its prison or slumber and fulfill our personal destiny within the collective destiny of our times. We are here to be, as fully as possible, the channel for our singular purpose to enter the world.

No matter who we are each of us is called upon to protect beauty, truth, and innocence in whatever form those appear in our worlds—both our inner and outer worlds. We are here to unleash a fearless awesome courage into the world.

And many are the forces against us—from within and from without. An old shame habit can keep us down. An old worry, such as what others might think, can keep us stuck in deep unhappiness. An old taboo can keep us small. A military occupation can throw the mind into terror.

But what’s the alternative to playing safe? Does living with an unlived story inside you appeal to you?

Your gorgeous perilous mission calls upon you to challenge your habitual fears, make your fear your ally, and lift your wild and singular burning desire into your living flow.

Big or small; visibly on a world scale or invisibly in the inner arena where you wrestle for your soul—your life’s mission is as important as anyone’s. And you are equipped with the necessary tools to accomplish it.

What’s stopping you from beginning? What stops any of us? Fear.

Well, take a deep breath, take heart, and take a step. That step not only calls for a fearless awesome courage, but also calls upon that fearless awesome courage to step up and move in. The step itself ignites the grit and gumption needed to carry through.

When a fearless awesome courage allies with a gorgeous perilous mission you get a golden opportunity.

As soon as you take that step, the path of radiant attraction begins to open. As soon as you begin the challenge, courage begins to muster. Your gorgeous perilous mission attracts the allies it needs to liberate your joy. And a primary ally is that fearless awesome courage that lives within you, within each of us, awaiting ignition.

…for the full version of this Livingflow Blog Bite see

The Grit & Gumption Of Your Fearless Awesome Courage big blog

Fear: Friend or Foe? Your Gorgeous Perilous Mission Blog Bite

When is fear a friend and when is fear a foe?

Part of your gorgeous perilous mission is to find out.

Almost everyone experiences physical, psychological, and spiritual dangers in this life. The smallest thing can be a mortal danger if we let fear take us down; the smallest threat can be crippling to body, mind, or spirit.

An angry fist in the face, a sarcasm dart to the heart, a tornado across the field, a bomb blowing up your car—these call up fear as an appropriate first reaction.

Fear is part of our evolutionary alert system. We’re designed to fight, flee, or freeze to protect this mortal coil from threats to life or wellbeing, or to protect what we love.

But fear doesn’t have to take you down. Fear doesn’t have to compromise your radiant attraction action. Fear can wake you up, stand you up, and fill you up with a powerful urgency to grow out of old conditioning and grow into your lucid and purposeful living flow now.

When fear is an ally and not an enemy you have a helpful warning system that alerts you to real danger and to the hook of an old conditioned reactivity. Your gorgeous perilous mission is to discern between the two. Your gorgeous perilous mission is to act above fear, to act as if your life depends upon that, and to act as if death were no consequence.

And the moment you begin; the moment you make that first inner decision to face the big calling of your life or the small calling of the day’s particulars, an unexpected ally arrives. Your fearless awesome courage arrives. It may be small, just enough to squeak you through to the next crack in the wall, the next helpful turn in the maze of confusion. And it may be the huge leap you need.

But big or small, you find you’re not alone. You find you’re equipped with the tools needed to accomplish the journey of the moment.

And big or small, when a gorgeous perilous mission allies with a fearless awesome courage you get a golden opportunity. And that’s the cosmic dynamo of attraction action dancing with your destiny.

…for the full version of this Livingflow Blog Bite, see

Your Gorgeous Perilous Mission Big Blog

 

Relaxed~Yoga’s Middle Way Between Limp & Rigid

In yoga, relaxed and rigid are not opposites. Limp and rigid are opposites. Relaxed is the middle way.

Relaxedness arises as the breath eases, the head clears, and the heart opens. Relaxedness is a result of discipline. Discipline is the way to liberation.

Dancers know that the dedicated practice of technique frees the body to leap as if gravity didn’t exist. A great pianist practices daily scales, knowing that years of repeating scales is the ground from which flights of improv soar.

If your body is limp or rigid, check your mental stance, check your feeling stance. The body is a reflection of thinking and feeling.

A rigid body reflects rigid thinking and rigid feeling, a stiffening of the authentic, fluid vitality of being into a very narrow artery of clog.

A limp body reflects limp thinking and limp feeling, a puddling of your authentic, vital, alive, and magnificently wild self into shapeless, shallow pools of blah.

The spacious silent abode of yoga mind liberates us from a rigid resistance or limp resignation to the frustrating finitudes of life. Relaxed is the transcendent third, the middle way, the balancing agent, the springboard into radiant possibility.

Relaxed synergizes the good fortitude of the rigid stance and the good softness of the limp stance into an energetic powerhouse of magnetized potential. Rigid becomes flexible with softness loosening it. Limp becomes resilience with fortitude strengthening it.

A daily practice in yoga mind enhances our energetic radiance and liberates us into the infinite potentialities of the relaxed, non-attached awareness.

The relaxed, non-attached awareness frees our wild potentialities into useable energy and useful attraction action that helps dreams come true.

 

A Wild And Singular Life

Whatever the universe may do in some distant future—spin, shrink, disappear, start over—the universe, right now, is vibrantly expanding. Expansion seems to be its driving urge.

From the Big Bang, right down to the explosion of binary cell division that resolves into a complexly evolving fetus, The Universe seems intent on expanding more and more life, complexity, beauty, abundance into its vast body.

From the exquisitely patterned developmental stages of a healthy disposition, into the full throttle thrown into wish fulfillment, we are coded with an expansive desire for growth.

From crystalline structures in snowflakes, frost patterns on windows, and sparkling symmetries in rare gems buried in layers of rock, fractal iterations throughout Nature insist on unfolding and expanding our wonderment.

You are one of those unfoldingments. You are the desire of the evolutionary impetus to further itself. You are the smouldering ember of desire’s next big bang.

“Tell me,” writes Mary Oliver, “what is it you plan to do with your one, wild and precious life?”[i]

That’s a crazy sexy inspiring question. That question can set the heart on fire. It can set the mind to scanning the psychic landscape for those embers of potentiality that, when tended, burst into destiny’s living fire.

If you don’t feel any spark in you, try this exercise: take Mary Oliver’s question with you as you walk through your days and weeks.

What is it I plan to do with my one, wild and precious life?

Repeat it like a mantra, a prayer, a favourite song lyric.

Write it on binder covers, notebook margins, journal headers, doodle scraps.

Post it on cupboards and mirrors and fridge doors.

Post it on Facebook and Twitter statuses.

Let it seep in, remind you, become you. Just let it in, over and over. Then let go.

Let go of outcome agendas.

Let that question expand your mind, fill your heart, and inspire your whole being to transcend current limitations.

What you impress upon your subconscious mind over and over begins to arrange itself in patterns beyond the conscious mind’s imagining.

Let that question in. What do you plan to do with your one wild and singular life?

Let the answers flow. Become what you most singularly must become in your one wildish soul.

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[i] Oliver, Mary (1992). New and Selected Poems, ‘A Summer Day.’ Boston: Beacon Press, p. 94.

Are You Hogtied To Habit?

Are you hogtied to habit?

When we’re not aware of where our attention is and what our intention is at any given moment, the cramp of conditioning is at large, in charge, and running the show.

The cramp of conditioning is a memory imprint, the stuff that happened, set into the subconscious by experience and consolidated by repetition. It runs on auto-pilot and usually keeps us small, playing safe–cramped. Left to its own devices, it’s repeating what it knows over and over. And what it knows is the same-old-same-old.

Have you ever paid attention to the images and thoughts your mind makes all day?

How many pictures a day do you make of angst and urgency or of desire and fulfillment? How many thoughts of despair and damnation or of hope and vision? Of rage and revenge or of serenity and wonderment? Of complaint and criticism or of compassion and co-operation? What’s your mental default mission?

Bringing attention to your habits of thought gives you the lead-in to change your cramp of conditioning.

It may take time and it will take dedicated repetition. But if you apply your attention to noticing the cramped conditioning, and if you set your intention to shift to more liberating thoughts and images, that old cramp will loosen and you will develop new, refreshing, healthy memory habits.

To untie those hogtied knots, try meditation, creative envisioning, tapping. Pay attention to your self-talk–how the voice in your head talks on its own–and build a devotion toward correcting any self-talk that holds you back, puts you down, keeps you small. Practice self-encouragement. Do things that stretch your comfort zone and things that make you feel good.

You’re worth the dedicated attention. And every little knot you untie liberates your greatness, one golden thread at a time.

 

 

Goals Help You Get Your Flow On

flow rapid rock

Going With The Flow

Where your attention goes, there your energy flows. Where your intention goes, there your energy grows. Goals provide fuel for your intention and direction for your attention.

But if your goal isn’t supported by a core belief that feeds that goal, you’re most likely rocking your own boat.

Instead of rocking your own boat, you need to get rowing your own boat. To do that, you need to investigate your core beliefs, identify those that swamp your good intention, and do the practices that change hampering core beliefs to helpful core beliefs. Doing so is a process and the process itself can get your boat floating on flowing waters toward your desired goal.

A conscious goal helps you get your flow on. When you get more conscious about what’s rocking your boat—i.e. those core beliefs against the fulfillment of your flow—then you can get more intentional about changing those beliefs into ones that support your goals, fuelling your intention and guiding your attention with flow fulfilling actions.

Blocks Against Flow

When you’ve got your flow on, feeling focussed and inspired to put energy toward goal fulfillment, you’ll still run into blocks along the way. Storms at sea are part of the journey. A good captain makes sure his crew of core beliefs don’t cause a mutiny.

sinking-canoen

You need to get your crew of core beliefs cleaned up so that your conscious intention and focussed attention don’t block your flow and can ride whatever the wind and waves toss up on your journey toward your goal.

Cleaning up the core beliefs and clearing out those that don’t serve your conscious intention prevents mutiny. Practices that clean up and clear out what doesn’t serve your conscious intention toward your goal include therapies like meditation, hypnosis, and creative visualization. These practices are simple and easy to learn. The rub is that core belief that says: why bother. That core belief—smacking of hopelessness, helplessness, or worthlessness—can be a very stuck place, the wave that always broadsides you, the rock that rips your hull, the deadhead that stumps your canoe into a full halt in the middle of the river and leaves you stranded.

Just Begin And Flow Follows

The encouragement to just begin comes from the smallest place. It’s that little voice that says: just begin. Listen to that little voice. Let its intention guide your attention.

Keep your goal simple right now. Let it be this: just begin. Take that step. Reach out. Intend to help yourself and put your attention on just this: begin.

If you’re already dreaming big, keep the flow alive with daily goal renewal practices like meditation, hypnosis, or creative visualization. Working with an intention coach can be a valuable partnership that inspires you when your flow flounders, when you find your attention fragmenting or your intention fizzling.

Remember, a goal gets your flow on. A goal provides fuel for your intention and direction for your attention. Big or small, setting a goal gets your flow moving you on the most amazing journey—your fulfilled and fulfilling life.

Paddling at sunrise. Perfect flow.
Paddling at sunrise. Perfect flow.

Contact me for information on my services or to be notified of new posts.

Blessings on your journey, sweet one!

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The Old Bugaboo Doesn’t Have To Bug You Forever (or Believe It To Achieve It)

girl dandelion

Have you ever wondered: why people who actively desire to make good changes in their thoughts, feelings, habits, and actions don’t succeed in the long run? why people don’t believe in themselves or in their innate capacity for deep change? why counselling doesn’t always stick? why intention or affirmation practice alone doesn’t seem to fulfill its promise of big change? why we stay stuck in the mud, caught in the fence, treading the same old pattern pathways over and over?

The answer comes down to subconscious belief and the locus of deep change. Our subconscious beliefs guide our choices and actions. The locus of change is the subconscious beliefs. A deep change practice has to reach through the mind clutter and touch the subconscious.

Thinking Isn’t Enough

Thought alone doesn’t reach deeply enough to shift an old defunct pattern. Thinking alone doesn’t cavern into the place where the old patterns live inside you.

Therapy helps. Counselling helps. Positive self-talk helps. But talk therapy and positive affirmation don’t touch the neural grooves in the brain that represent the hidden beliefs in the subconscious.

It’s those hidden beliefs in the subconscious that need to be targeted and bull’s eyed.

So what is this subconscious? And why is it so important in the process of deep transformational change?

The Subconscious

The subconscious is the whole body and all its functions and gifts, instincts and intuitions, illuminations and limitations. It’s the nervous system and neural grooves; it’s the gut, the heart, the head; it’s the deepest operating system and the lifelong companion; it’s the warehouse of daily events and storehouse of memories and memorized patterns. Our learned beliefs and habits live here. The subconscious comprises about 80-90% of us; our conscious self is pretty small in comparison.

Imagine the subconscious to be a magnificent, powerful animal of transport, like a horse. A well-trained horse who trusts its rider and its instincts blends with the movements and guiding directions of a rider who respects its horse and trusts its horse’s power.

Imagine the subconscious to be like a work ox of old, attached to the arm that turns the grinding wheel, walking round and round all day doing its work faithfully, entirely limited by harness and ingrained habit. An oxen who has always moved like this will always move like this, harnessed or not.

The subconscious is a magnificent evolutionary survival mechanism, filled with all the inherited codes of our DNA and imprinted with the learned behaviours of our lives. The deepest learned behaviours, and often the ones that hold us back the most, are the earliest ones learned. Our deep patterning, housed in our subconscious and reflected in neural pathways, unconscious beliefs, repeated thoughts and emotions and behaviours, governs most of what we do and how we behave. We like to think that our conscious waking mind is in charge. It’s usually not. The subconscious deep patterning is in charge, making our choices from learned patterns that became entrenched over the years and through repetition.

The subconscious isn’t trying to be the boss. The subconscious isn’t trying to be subversive. The subconscious isn’t trying to trip you up. It’s a loyal companion, a faithful friend, doing what it was told to do over and over and through many repetitions.

For example, most of us were taught to look both ways before crossing a road. It’s automatic. The behaviour was taught, we do it without thinking. It’s a very good pattern to have had set into us from the earliest years of our lives.

Conversely, some of us were taught that another way of thinking or believing is wrong. That teaching gets in deep, too. And we react to that foreign way as if it were actually wrong and not just a different way.

Learned Belief

Three core beliefs—deeply entrenched neural patterns that represent deeply held convictions—are: hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness. And most of us got stuck with some dose of at least one of these, and some of us got dosed more heavily in one or more of those self-beliefs. We subsequently live without believing in our abilities, dreams, selves.

We learn to believe what we were taught. The belief gets set into the neural structure which means that our entire psycho-social-physical-spiritual self is governed by beliefs we may not even know we have. You can’t see a belief. But you can experience its results.

How often have you looked at your reactions and behaviours and choices that trip you up; acknowledge they’re not healthy or helpful; but feel powerless to change them? No amount of thinking about them helps. Positive thinking helps a bit. Talk therapy helps a bit. But mostly, the old bugaboo keeps bugging you.

The Way Out

But the old bugaboo doesn’t have to keep bugging you.

The old sacred wisdom and the new scientific understanding about the subconscious, the neural patternings, the power of core belief, and the way out of the cul de sac of I-Can’t-Change now align. There is a way out of the dark psychological alley. The old psychologies provided tools and techniques to get free. The new scientific psychologies have found that these old sacred psychologies work.

Hypnosis, deep meditation, visualization toward a specific target goal, or behaviour, or change all work to change the deeply entrenched faulty beliefs that hold us back. In the yoga psychologies, these old neural grooves are called samskaras. In neuroscience: neural patterns. In psychology: subconscious core beliefs. Whatever the language or tradition, hypnosis, deep meditation, and visualization targeted toward a specific goal work to manifest that change in your deep neural structures and therefore in your beliefs, thoughts, emotions, choices, actions.

An old adage says: You must believe it to achieve it.

Old beliefs that hold you back can be changed. The old bugaboos don’t have to bug you forever. Try these therapeutic techniques: hypnosis, meditation, visualization. Target an old belief and become a new you.

Contact me for information on a 6 session engagement to repattern the old stuck neural grooves and install that new, shining belief. Believe It To Achieve It

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